Wednesday, March 31, 2010

dilemma. words.

New Milieu of Semester Three

" Registration Courses for semester 2010/2011 is NOW OPENED from 29 Apr- 16 Apr 2010. Please bla,bla,bla... ".
Sigh~
Sigh~
Sai~ (eh?)

Salam ukhuwah abadan abada.

Allright. So that is particularly of what is printed on several number of banners in Campus Sec 17, and also in Main Camp I assume. So, time to choose, select, pick, take...

I wasn't looking forward to this part of decision- making, despite the fact that I eagerly would like to finish another three lengthy- short years as a Teslian. Decisions are to be made on:

1. Minor subject:
Counseling or Literature?
Whoa... Literature has never failed to keep me amused. However, I'm a total morone when it comes to creative writing and thinking. I am not fond of looking at stories or novels or poems or phrases beyond the beyond. In short words, I usually go on the blink when it comes to analysing and interpreting. I am a person who enjoy reading the most. Of course, what else is more tranquilizing than to sit by yourself devouring over beautifully, poetically, humouringly arranged words in reading materials? But that's it. I'm no good to understand the author' s feelings. I've no notion to dive into the writer's cognitive facet. Which is why Counseling has become a better choice for me. A straight- forward thinker with no effort to think critically about whatever the author of books think about. To highly- encouraging friends which couldn't be found elsewhere: THANK YOU FOR THE NEVER-ENDING SUPPORT.
Nevertheless, I do expect for counseling to not to be as appealing as lit(I've done sum simple skimmin' and scannin' in the libry on lit textbooks), but hey, come what may:
I'm gonna make it thru.:DDDD
< Yup, this is what I'm gonna work on!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

certain. words.

Salam masrur.

Since English for Young Muslim(EfYM), a lot of subtle yet appealing train of events emerged into my life(i rather accept it that way).

Amazing things
The EfYM programme is conducted mainly by two amazing married couple, Coach Ridz and Coach Sha. They indeed are Muslims adult who knows what is needed to be done to help our youths and kids-- master the universal language: ENGLISH! The effort and energy actively linger around you when you work with them. Amazing man- Amazing job.

Surprising thing
When I join a programme or campaign etc., I expect to gain something beneficial to learn about or somebody to know. Knowledge acquired from the programme: ABUNDANT. People met at the programme:surprising. There was a party of people who are. . . lost in their journey, but at the same time amazingly enjoying it pretty much. When I say lost, I'm referring to the social setting, not neither place nor time wise.
To me, it was not merely shocking, but disheartening as well. Girlfriends, lets pray for a better future of the world-- OUR world. Amin. After all, a prayer is mukmin's mightiest weapon, is it not?

Emotional thing
I hate complex emotions. I fear vague feelings. I dislike hatred and jealousy. I avoid utter fondness to a particular person. But at the end of the day, I found myself wrestling and struggling to breath in the middle of a plethora of these feelings I never wished to deal with. Eottoke? I am not a freak who is determined to live this life without a company. Surely I cannot deny I hope to find my Mr. Right, but not in the nearest moment in time. It is not arrogance or superiority that I want to declare when I give a cold shoulder to any relationship proposals. I dare not say much, but I've come to a point where none of this occurences signify significance to my feelings or my daily events.


This time around, I decide to let things go. Looks like its simple to just follow the flow.
Hey, it rythms.


Sunday, March 7, 2010

gratitude. words.




Salam rahmat.




I was facing difficulties completing my project on Literature subject when I decided on turning to ask my former English teacher for a favour. She replied my e- mail in no time and I felt ashamed of myself.

I adored her as a student to her teacher. However, I did not tell her when I attended Asasi TESL course. I kept myself silent until a task came up-- which is to interview HER. So, I told her about my progress in Asasi programme and she responded gladly with my interview uqestions and declared that she was more than willing to help me on any later date.

I felt guilty for not telling her, AGAIN, that I have proceeded my TESL course on Degree level. As fated, another task( the Lit project)came up ,acquiring me to refer to her. It was only then that I know she is no longer teaching in my former secondary school. Surprisingly expected, she answered me in a warm attitude( though we merely did it thru messages I can inspect the warmth). Once more, she became the saviour of her student who apparently approved her existence in time of needs.
I am aware that my attitude is far from a speck sense of respect towards my teacher.
I realized that to seek for her aid only during my bad times is appaling.
But I never, ever meant to be insolent by not telling her.

Pardona me Teacher Faridahanna,
You always are the teacher in my heart.


Tuesday, March 2, 2010

perplexed. words.







Salam muhibah.

It is puzzling when someone says 'I don't enjoy being alone', yet act the exact opposite of what they declare. If you do not want people to engage deeply in your life affairs, I can comprehend that without any problem. Neither I dislike whatever inteference or disturbance into my life. HOWEVER, there are differences which distinguish people who disturb you AND people who assist you-- in this context it refers to a group of people in your life called friends.

There will be times when I feel disrupted by my friends. But then I have my second thought: my friends never mean any harm by asking about where I am going, what I am doing or going to do, when I am going, with whom etc. It shows that THEY CARE. People care about you on the account that THEY LOVE you. That's when you start sharing and start giving without hoping for anything in return. Should anything happen to me, I have my friends to support me physically, figuratively, economically(LOL), and emotionally. It is by de facto that we always have our benevolent God to be on our side, whether or not we realize it. And in my opinion, friends are angels sent by God Himself. Well, apart from 'not-so-innocent' character, they are angels to me alright.

To Ema, Iman, Myra, Dya, Fana, Ku Azrie and others unmentioned:
I need all of you my friends, and I love you, unsparingly.


Mind you,

Though flowers wither,
Our friendship shall never.